Can Clients and Therapists Be Friends

Can Clients and Therapists Be Friends Psychotherapy Print Can Clients and Therapists Be Friends? Examining the Relationship By Leonard Holmes Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD on August 05, 2016 Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. Learn about our Medical Review Board Steven Gans, MD Updated on July 17, 2019 Peter Dazeley/Getty Images More in Psychotherapy Online Therapy Clients often develop a close relationship with  therapists. After all, during therapy sessions they sit in a room discussing very personal subjects, but does this make patients and therapists friends? Some people certainly think that it does, but therapists are trained not to view their relationships with clients in such a way. The Facts About the  Therapist-Client Relationship Psychotherapy is by necessity an imbalanced relationship. You, the client, open up, and the therapist generally doesnt. This is necessary in order to focus on your problems exclusively. How can trust develop in such a one-sided relationship? Since the therapist doesnt reveal nearly as much, you will hopefully come to view the therapist as a safe, caring listener who is devoted to helping you figure out your problems, not her own. Friendship, on the other hand, is inherently two-sided. In most relationships, we open up gradually as the other person also opens up. As your friend, I know many things about you, and you know many things about me. We usually have shared experiences beyond sitting in a room, talking. Therapy can certainly be a friendly relationship, depending on the personalities involved and  the therapists theoretical orientation. Historically, certain psychoanalytically oriented  therapists took pains not to reveal any aspect of themselves to their patients. They believed that this would influence the patients reactions in an unhelpful manner  known as transference. Most contemporary psychoanalysts and therapists, however, recognize that they are always revealing aspects of themselves. The therapists goal is not to hide his personality but to foster the kind of relationship that allows for the fullest discussion and exploration of all the reactions that take place between the therapist and patient. Do You Know the Best Way to Work With Your Therapist? Why Your Therapist Cant Be Your Friend Your therapist should not be a close friend because that would create whats called a dual relationship, something that is unethical in therapy. Dual relationships occur when people are in two very different types of relationships at the same time. For example, it is unethical for a therapist to treat a close friend or relative. It is also unethical for a therapist to have a sexual relationship with a client. One of the difficulties with dual relationships is that a problem in one relationship, such as a friendship or a sexual relationship, can then cause problems in the therapy relationship. If you are mad at me because I didnt attend your party, it will be hard for you to open up in therapy. In addition to being a dual relationship, sexual relationships with clients exploit the power inherent in the one-sided nature of the therapy relationship. Such relationships are unethical on several grounds. When You Have Romantic Feelings for Your Therapist What About When Youve Finished Therapy? While not common, a friendship can develop when youve finished therapy. However, ethical guidelines frown on this for various reasons, including the idea that the transference aspects of the relationship  and the power imbalance formed in therapy never fully disappear. Your Therapist Can Experience Transference, Too If you are currently in therapy, expect your therapist to be someone who is easy to talk to. If he or she is friendly, this may be an added bonus. But remember that therapy is not the same as a friendship. By taking advantage of the personal and professional relationship that develops in therapy, you will be better able to make the changes that you strive for in your life.